Self-work is both necessary and never-ending

Let’s start by saying that self-work is NECESSARY and never-ending!

For me, the conscious need to work on myself has come at three key moments:

1. At the end of the pandemic
    
2. When my husband and I started planning for our third child
    
3. And the one I want to focus on today—when one of my kids brought home a school activity with about seven “basic” personal questions.
    

If I remember correctly, the questions were something like:

• What do you like?
   
• What are you good at?
   
• What’s your favorite food?
   
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
   

And again, these seem like simple, basic questions, especially for a child who, in theory, isn’t overthinking things at that age...
But I was shocked to see that, even though he’s very confident in himself, he couldn’t answer the questions.

I explained them, we talked them through, and he wanted me to give him the answers—because, according to him, he was only good at math and because I know what he likes, etc.
That’s when I thought, Whoa, we need to work on this...

Because one: we're not just one thing—
And two: from what I’ve learned and continue to work on, self-knowledge and personal development are absolutely necessary.

So I did an exercise with him and my other son where we bought a board and:

• Printed out pictures of things he likes (beyond just math and basketball for my other son)
   
• Printed images of people we admire
   
• Wrote down words that represent them, based on what we associate with their emotions—but with positive connotations. In other words, validating the emotions but reframing them:
   
  • Happy = Family
     
  • Angry = Brave
     
  • Love = Grandparents
     
• We also wrote a weekly affirmation or phrase to work on.
   

For example:

• Saying “I CAN”
   
• Or “It’s okay to make mistakes because that’s how I learn”
   

And I realized—I could do the same exercise for myself.
To lead by example, and why not—reinforce who I am.

So I did it.
And honestly, it really makes you think...
It reminds you—or helps you reconnect with who you truly are and what really matters—if you give yourself the time to reflect and feel it... or sometimes, just to remember it.

Now, why go through all this effort?
Why gather this information, become aware of it, and post it somewhere visible every day?

It might sound obvious to say “Who am I? What do I like? What matters to me?”
But here are just a few reasons why it’s important:

We live in a technological world where we have so much information and so many options constantly at our fingertips.
Marketing—both from brands and even personal branding—has broken boundaries, and now it’s constant, and honestly, very effective.

So it’s only human to feel confused at times, to feel anxious, to doubt our interests, decisions, even our lives...

And that’s where personal empowerment becomes essential.

Because if our mind and heart are aligned—at least on these basic questions—and if we have a daily reminder of who we are and what we value…
We become less vulnerable to outside influences. Or at the very least, we see them from a different perspective.

And even better—when we reach a place of empowerment—we can start using those outside influences to our advantage, based on our own goals and desires, not someone else’s.

That’s where we find more alignment, satisfaction, and joy—not just in our own achievements, but also in celebrating others’ success.

For example, we scroll through Instagram and see someone traveling somewhere amazing—and we think, I want that.

Or we see an entrepreneur with the newest car—and think, I want that.

Or we see someone (often we don’t even know who they are!) on a yacht—and think, I want that...

BUT BUT BUT...

Do you really want that?
Or are you just being swept up by what you think you want?

There’s a big difference between saying:

“Wow, that person’s trip looked amazing.
I haven’t planned a trip in a while—maybe this sparked that desire in me.
Where would I love to go?
How and when could I make it happen?”
 

Versus just reacting—and letting that moment create stress or FOMO.

Or maybe we just say:

“That trip looked awesome!”
…and move on, because it’s not a current priority, need, or possibility—and that’s okay too.
We stay at peace.
 

Or—perhaps the most interesting scenario—maybe we didn’t even know we wanted that.
But it now serves as inspiration and creates an adrenaline rush to set a goal: to plan that trip, get that car, or whatever it may be...

Because when that happens, we are living life on our own terms.
We create, we enjoy, and when needed, we can also support others.

So the goal is:
Know yourself—to be at peace with who you are and what you want.

Now, in this podcast—as I’ve mentioned, I love exercise—so I often like to use sports analogies.

Here’s one for you:

I recently ran a 10K race, and for me, every race is different.

And I found myself comparing what I’ve been talking about—knowing who you are and being happy with where you are—to the experience of running a race.

In a race, just like in life, there are different corrals or paces that separate runners:

• A – The fastest
   
• B – Fast
   
• C – Moderate
   
• D – Running at their own pace
   

…and most runners are happy where they are.
They know their time, their pace, and they place themselves accordingly to enjoy the race.
And if they don’t know their time, they still run at their own pace—and that’s fine too! The achievement still feels great in the end.

But looking at it from another perspective, if we know our pace, we can choose the right place for ourselves—just like in life—to maximize our personal experience.

We also understand that the fastest runners might be the “most successful” in terms of time, but we also admire the sacrifice and talent behind it.
Maybe they train 5 days a week, eat well, meditate, track their progress—they do the work to stay there.

And those who run at their own pace aren’t any less—they’re just as happy and enjoying the event just as much.
Maybe they train 2 times a week, maybe they’re doing it to spend time with family, or to achieve a personal milestone—and they’re still loving it.

So no one is approaching the race—or life—from a place of envy or criticism.
It’s about admiration—and maybe even inspiration—if you one day want to get to another corral.

And if not—that’s also completely valid.

So, I invite you to ask yourself these questions:

• Who am I?
   
• What do I like?
   
• What motivates me?